Saturday, 1 April 2017


Vuelettes Sur Mer, Normandy, France

I asked myself this week if perhaps I should give in, give up... my head is bloody from hitting it against the walls!  All artists have to deal with these feelings...well most of us!  That feeling that you're hitting your head against the wall so much that it's bloody, and you can't seem to soar over those walls or off those cliffs the same way you used to.  It's hard to remember the good times, when you're struggling with day to day things like finances, credit ratings, paying rent, buying food, looking for the dosh to get you over the next hump and into a decent (your own) studio - as well as to your next exhibition!  Unexpected expenses seem to be insurmountable; and don't tell us about a savings account for such eventualities!  I wish!  Sigh.

Enough moaning.  I KNOW that this is temporary, and only has any power over me if I choose to give it power.  This isn't the first time I've been here!  Not, my first rodeo! But, giving up is SOOO seductive!  This is what I'm writing about today.  NOT GIVING UP in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds. I talked about this very briefly in an interview with Artist's Web (my website host) in 2014.  I'd forgotten what I said.... and by accident, read it again this past week, just in time. I was asked what was the most important advice I had to impart to other artists....?  My answer was very quick and to the point... TO NEVER GIVE UP.  This is where we separate ourselves from the rest of the world.  We do what we do because we must.  I MUST paint, and explore to do so!  It is part of my path in this life.  It has given me such an incredible life, such incredible insight into the human condition, and most importantly, such incredible insight into myself.

Saturday, 25 February 2017

Solidity with the Easel and Brushes

I had to stop working on my house/studio in Taos, NM in January for a variety of reasons.  Foremost being that I have an exhibition in Normandy, France opening July 14, 2017 for a month.  I had to start painting, despite the fact that my house was by then 3 months behind schedule - winter building.  It took all of 3 days from walking into my temporary studio north of Taos and only a mile from the room I rent to putting paint to canvas (or board as it happens).  I was absolutely right when I thought that all the focus of working on my house/studio would translate directly to the easel!  The work has to be finished by mid-March, and dry by the end of the month so that I can ship it to my framer in preparation for this wonderful little show in the village of Le Bourg Dun, not far from Dieppe.  I have spent nearly every day in the studio - not wanting to tear myself away, even to check on the house and make sure it still is in one piece.  And yes, it (the house) does now have a roof; and has almost completely dried out after spending most of December and January dripping water like a grotto (see my last post!)

I'm still not in my house, but my go fund me campaign is helping, as are people who step up to offer some thing I need, or some free help.  I feel the love!  There are still lots of things I can do before I have to pay for something....but for the moment, my studio has my focus.  I am content!

Wednesday, 28 December 2016


I'm soon to begin painting again!  Whew!  I need to do new work from the Normandy coast in France for an exhibition in the village of Le Bourg Dun...opening mid-July.  So the clock has begun ticking. I still am not in my house/studio in Taos, NM .  It sounds like a cold grotto when I open the door, from the snow melting through the dirt ceilings.  The roofers, plumbers, electricians are madly trying to get things sorted so the roof can go on, and I'm sweating to get it all done, before my walls melt and I run out of cash!!!

I know I really won't loose the walls - they'll dry out, as will the roof!  I've launched a GOFundMe campaign to help finish the house, ( )  I've an exhibition in Austin at the Irish Embassy that's been extended into March, and I'll find a place that's dry and warm, to paint! Somehow, in all the chaos, I need to get quiet, and start to re-immerse myself in that magical Norman coastline.  Of COURSE I'll make it....

Monday, 22 August 2016


I've not had the energy to pick up a brush at all since my last blog!  I will paint again, and soon! I promise... but for now, the deconstruction of what doesn't work, is rotten, or beyond repair is heavy work!!  But I find that I have found  the same focus that I once had; the need to create nearly every day.  And I know, without a doubt, that this old focus will translate to the easel, once I have a place to work and the heavy physical labor is over.  I've had help from a couple of friends when I needed it most....more brawn than I possess was needed to get the floors started in two rooms. But mostly, I've tackled this project each day, on my own! I HATE asking for help, hate looking not strong; but it was beyond me to get the floors started.  Once started, I could do it, using a bit of ingenuity figuring out the best way to conquer a physical limitation, and get the stuff up.  The same was true with demolishing heavy walls separating two connected bathrooms.... it will be one bathroom, and a small utility room.
Master Bedroom... one day, a set of narrow french doors in the window ahead.
the living room now... the oldest room in the house - 30 in thick walls

one room now, was two bathrooms of interesting construction. my master bath, utilities, and a hall and closet in to the master bedroom

my debris pile from the bathroom alone... beyond that, the old kitchen, my bedroom, and alot of rotten wood... what a view though.

Yesterday, after spending 4 hours cutting and pulling old wiring, boxes, light switches, I nearly finished the inside, but several wires defeated me...stuck between the ceiling boards and vigas....again, it will take more brawn than I possess to pull those wires with the aid of a 'wonder bar' (truly the most versatile tool in my arsenal!) to lift the ceiling boards just enough to pull the wires through.  Yesterday, I sat on a step looking at the dirt floors, broken windows, and concrete slabs I still need to bust and remove (hmmm....maybe a patio???), and I wondered if I'd lost my mind!  I know I've not, but I felt overwhelmed and worried that I won't get into my house before the snow starts to fly....  Its only 4 big rooms, so truly, once construction begins, it shouldn't take too long! And I'm hiring the help for the construction, bar the remudding, painting, refinishing of windows, existing floors, etc.  I'm just sore and tired!  I am having to learn to ask for help once again! Which I think is the point to this missive.... I can't do it all myself. There is nothing wrong with saying "Uncle!" and recognizing that I need to remember to ask for help!

Friday, 8 July 2016


Well, it HAS been awhile, once again.  But I am finally finding my feet.  I have been talking/writing about 'floating' for what feels like years....possibly since August 2011 to be truthful; but I have purchased this little bit of New Mexico heaven this past month, AND have managed to finish all four paintings shown in the previous blog post!  The above house will give me space, and a studio, and grounding so that I feel I can soar again with a rudder this time.  It will be alot of work, don't get me wrong!!  But this vintage 1820 adobe on the Talpa Ridge just south of Taos, NM, will be well worth it.  It still has beautiful vigas, 30 in thick walls in places, and mud plaster through out the inside of the house.  The ceiling has 12 in. of dirt as insulation on top of the plank ceiling above the big vigas.  There is NO plumbing, the electricity has to be completely redone before they'll think of re-attaching the house to the grid, and lots of broken windows.....  but its mine.

 The Studio
The Torreon

The studio sits out back of the main farm house.... an old forge of the same vintage; and there is even a torreon on the property - a New Mexican version of a adobe defensive tower (once 2 stories) from about 1820 - the Comanche Wars.  I miss Scotland and parts of France like I missed Taos when I lived away.  I know that this base will be the first step in once again being able to keep my feet firmly soaring across the pond; painting and keeping up with the many friends around the world that I've made.  Now for the adventure of restoring the house, the studio; and stabilizing the torreon. Along with making time to paint most days.....

Sunday, 1 May 2016


I am posting this photo of my current studio, in the SMU at Taos, Ft. Burgwin Art Barn.  I'm proving to you all and myself that I am actually working....four started, yet unfinished paintings.  Loss affects us all differently.  and it seems that for me, it affects my ability to let out the images inside me.  Yes, my creativity flows from the inside out, even if its an image in front of me....and grief and loss seem to block that for me.  But SOMETHING's leaking out, or even these four paintings wouldn't be there. Doesn't matter that two of them were begun a year ago....the images are still there, lurking until I can find a way to dynamite the dam holding it all in. This dam is definitely cracking...I can feel it.  I just wanted to let you all know I'm still here.  Still looking at the world through my painter's eyes....

Thursday, 19 November 2015


It’s been months since I’ve felt I could write about events in my life and how they relate to my journey as an artist.  The challenges of ending a relationship, changing countries, changing states, re-examining goals, the illness and ultimate loss of my Dad, the need to find a new market for my work here in the USA, proved finally too much for this artist.  Floating, anchorless, I have spent months on the road, dealing with duties and travelling to ‘reboot’ my inner body.  Artists can sometimes use their art to help get their emotional bodies through times of great stress, but for me, it has been a time of deep meditation, reconnecting with beloved ones left behind in Scotland and France, finding myself re-inspired by landscapes dear to me – even if I couldn’t paint them yet; and ultimately, finding the final ability to lift myself up out of the hole, and heal from the inside out through training a very special dog (Normally this part of my healing has been helped by my horse  and companion of 26 years, Dancer, currently enjoying an extended holiday in Brittany, France).  Within a few weeks of working and running with this dog, I was able to go sit in my new studio, sketch, and begin finally, to paint (for the first time since mid-January!).  Now that I’m working again, I can use the work to further heal my heart.

I’m now in Taos, New Mexico – working in a studio provided for the winter by friends at Ft. Burgwin, the research center and SMU satellite campus that my Father founded the year I was born.  It’s snowing…the first big snow of the year they say, and I’m beginning to think ahead.  I’m still floating, but it’s a meditative floating….that will produce work.  The first piece out of this new, temporary studio is the final painting for the commission that I began last year (fingers crossed!).

Cliff Dwellers Canoeing on the Brazos, 24 x 18 in., oil on canvas, sold